May 9, 2013

the good, the bad, the dependent...

A few more weeks, and I will have made it through my first official year of homeschooling.
I feel like I have barely made it and yet I feel like I have grown as a wife & Mom. But with growth comes a total awareness of just how weak I really am.

So, here is where I am after this year of homeschooling...

The good - 
beautiful & precious time with my children
exploring life with them
hugging them and laughing with them
teaching them new things
being each others' best friends

The bad - 
I am tired, often
I daily think I am not made for this 
The feeling I get when my house is dirty 5 min after I killed myself to clean it (like I want to give up)
How much my children take from me, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
Me, I am the bad one

The dependent - 
I am not a patient person, and yet, this season is causing me to grow to be more patient - James 1:2-5
I am so weak and yet I am seeing that in all things (even homeschooling) it is Christ who gives me strength - Phil 4:13
I am naturally a very carefree person with my time and like to invest in whatever my passions are at that moment - yet, the Lord is showing me that I need to be redeeming the time given to me in homeschooling and to be on top of it - Eph 5:16
Starting over, again and again, hundreds of times, moment by moment, because God's mercies are always new - Lam 3:22-23

so, that's me. that's where I am at and where I am growing.
just thought it would be awesome to journal this and keep it for later :)
maybe as a reminder for the next time it is hard - 

Janiene, keep following God and His call on your life!

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