I would like to share the lessons I have learned in cultivating a community of support/friendship. I started a small group 2 years ago and it has been an amazing support/source of friendship for me and for those involved. It was my original intent to start something where we could each be seeking the Lord individually and then gathering and stirring one another up with what we had learned and been challenged in. We have done many units together and are currently each taking turns sharing with the group a lesson the Lord has taught us and set us free in. Oh how rich is our fellowship and community. Oh what a delight to see friendship and deep fellowship blossom among the women involved. My heart is so stirred to start more of these community groups.
Our group's name is "The Bench". We got that from the blog Chatting At The Sky in which she shared about a bench that had been added to her community. Here is what the blogger said "I glanced out my window and saw three of our neighbors sitting on those benches, facing one another. They stayed out for nearly an hour. I've not seen them do that before... Now, they had a bench to sit on. And the bench made all the difference... People want to talk about things. They want to relate and live in community and converse and be together. Sometimes they just need a bench. They need a place to get the conversation started, a platform that allows them to linger and find one another... Every community needs a bench."
"Every community needs a bench." That one sentence got stuck in my mind. If we put a bench out, community will gather. So, what will your bench look like?
Here is what our bench looks like...
We meet at 8:30pm every other week. Half of the ladies are young Mom's so this time works perfectly for them to get their children to bed and make it to small group on time. Half of the group are working women who can rest and eat dinner after their day, then come to small group later in their evening. We have a unit we all go through. This is not a Bible study - the study is done by each of the ladies to whatever depth or degree they desire. We gather, share about what we learned or how we grew from the unit study and then we fellowship and pray.
How did I start this group?
I asked all the ladies I knew if they would like to come meet with me and grow in the Lord with me. 10 said yes originally. We lost a few ladies and it dwindled down to 5. When we hit the 1 year mark I sought out more ladies and we had many interested! Our group is now 13 strong.
Here is what I have learned and would encourage you with...
Take the initiative to create community!
Pursue women that you respect and can relate to.
Schedule times of fellowship without kids around (and some times with the kids).
Be real and unafraid of vulnerability.
Build the community around the Lord and His perfect Word.
Protect one another and have one another's backs.
Listen to one another.
Pray for one another.
Encourage one another.
Rejoice with one another.
Weep with one another.
Follow-up with each other about what was shared.
Laugh with one another!
Share life with each other.
Support the decisions another makes and don't force conformation to your idea of the right direction (unless it is a truth in the Word that they are deviating from). But, as a community, always offer an ear to hear and a heart to care and prayers of support.
Be open to correction and rebuke.
Be open to another coming alongside of you and aiding you to find a better way.
Always be teachable.
Stop the group if it ever deviates from the Lord and His Word and becomes just a group of ladies gathering to talk about life. We should want to grow and stir one another up for love and good works! Life can be talked about in intentional ways and in light of the Word. The Bible says in 2 Peter 1:3 "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence." A small group should want this knowledge of Him and want all things pertaining to life and godliness.
My community has been a support to me in a million ways! They are my friends and fellow saints.
I pray you are able to find a community group, or start one, soon!! :)
God Bless you friends!
