If I were to be completely honest, this is not easy. It is much harder staying home. I loved my job and was good at it. When I came home I got quality time with my kids and we had fun. But, now that I am home, every moment of every day is training/guidance/help/nurturing/caring for their needs/cheerleading/housecleaning/meal preparation. I am exhausted! :) I am hard on myself - self driven - I compete only with what my mind has as the ideal and level of excellence. I do not look around at others and want to be them, that is not my struggle. I compare myself with what I want myself to be and get myself into a lot of trouble and anguish of heart. I can't live up to who I want to be - because I ultimately want to be conformed into the image of Christ (Romans 8:29). So, I do what Paul tells me to do, "I press on towards the goal of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus". That I can and will do - press on. I will keep learning and growing and asking others and reading blogs & books - all so that I can do what God has called me to do, better. I am not unrealistic, just driven. I am a goal oriented person and compete against myself - so while I shared that that can be a bad thing in my life, it is also an amazingly positive thing in my life. My goal is the call of God in Christ Jesus. I will forget what lies behind (all my successes and failures of homemaking and homeschooling) and I will press into the Lord and press on another year!
I am working on organizing my home this month.
When I moved into my home, I was 37 weeks pregnant and I did not spend the time then to organize it and get any system set up. We have been in survival mode for the past year and a half - 3 kids ages 5 & younger will do that to you. My dear friend helped me organize my kitchen. My other dear friend has been helping me organize my play/homeschool room. I am working on my laundry room right now and just bought all the gear to build a stacking laundry sorter (pictures to come one day). I want to be able to have my home organized and running smoothly so that in an instant I know where the flashlight is, where the cottonballs and peroxide were put, know where I can find a permanent marker or tape, etc. So, I have had to bite the bullet and spend some money on organization equipment. I am a cheapskate but I have to admit the function and ease of locating items is making up for the dollar signs I initially saw.
My husband and I have decided to homeschool our son who is starting Kindergarten.
This was a hard decision for me. I have had some health problems recently that made me take a more serious and prayerful approach to this decision. I attended a Christian homeschool conference a few weeks ago & I was able to handle the curriculum's and see what they consisted of. I asked my homeschooling friends a million questions. But really, when Chad and I stopped and prayed about our life and where we are at with his job & ministry and where I am at with 3 young children and some health issues, the decision was clear - we will homeschool. So, being the researcher I am, I asked my friend who is a teacher to list everything she recommended for me. I love information. I love to gather and then sort through information and apply what I feel is right for our family. We decided on a curriculum and I am getting the homeschool room ready. We found a desk for free and we are fixing it up. Things are coming together!
I found out from the Dr today that the cause of my fatigue this past month was due to a Vitamin D deficiency. Oh, and I also found out that I have high cholesterol.
Easy remedy - take Vitamin D. The blow came from the news that I have high cholesterol. I don't know why, but it made me so sad to hear that I was unhealthy. I am only 31. But, I will take this as an opportunity to fine tune my diet, remove any high fat foods (which unfortunately means my daily whole milk iced coffee, boo!), and then after 6 months I will go see how I am doing.
My week has been filled with highs and lows. Maturity in some areas and areas that have been revealed that need more growth.
What I do know is this, I am blessed right where I am at and I take all this as encouragement to be more conformed into the image of Christ (Rom 8:29).
Just thought I would be revealing of what is in my heart today.